IWSG June 3: Secrets

It’s the first Wednesday of the month and that means Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is enjoying its monthly blog fest invented by Alex J. Cavanaugh. IWSG is a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds.    

The awesome co-hosts for the June 3 posting of the IWSG are Pat Garcia, J.Q. Rose, and Natalie Aguirre!

QUESTION: Writers have secrets! What are one or two of yours, something readers would never know from your work?

MY ANSWER: I thought about my secrets from the time I went to Donovan State Prison in the US and Puente Grande women’s prison in Mexico. I was there to listen to their stories. Most of what I heard was dark and best saved for a different time.

Let’s move to a lighter part of my life. For the last eight years, I’ve managed an international group of writer’s called La Cruz Writers’ Group (LCWG). I will tell you my secret. But first, I must tell you last month we featured author Michelle O’Healy. She presented us with this question, “What Happens When Unicorns Fart?

Michelle is a long time member of LCWG and frequent reader. Even as grownups, we sat spellbound and giggled as we listened to her childrens’ stories. Michelle loved telling her kids original bedtime stories. Now she is beginning to publish them.

Rusty Debris, another long time member often entertained us with his guitar and we learned the similarity of song writing and story telling.

Take a moment, if you will, and enjoy the poem Rusty wrote in honor of “What Happens When Unicorns Fart?

There’s a wild and wooly creature
With a spiral horn-like feature
Tho’ not a goat, wild ass or horse
We’re talking unicorn, of course

Bearded beasts from antiquity
Eat pomegranates constantly
The crimson fruit that’s slightly tart
Makes them pee red and want to fart

As to unicorns’ flatulence
These days we strive for more nuance
Now farts are “anal acoustics”
Here are some more popular picks:

Cutting cheese or breaking the breeze
Squeezing wind or waxing the skis
Air biscuits, plonkers, anus noodles
Afterburners or fluff doodles

It sounds like stepping on a goose
When unicorns are cutting loose
Making stinky or a tooter
A mouse on a motor scooter

Butt trumpets, gas plants, ass rippers
Trouser coughs, Dutch ovens, air dumps
Subcutaneous tissue disorders
Arkansas barking spiders

Drop the bomb, play the tushy horn
Blame it all on the unicorn
When gastric gas begins to pain
Better let fluffy off the chain

©️Rusty Debris 2020
Holdingforth, MN
Always on time and in tune.

La Cruz Writers’ Group is open to all writers and our purpose is to support and encourage. Folks are encouraged to read an excerpt from their writing. Next, they receive invaluable and positive feedback on their piece.

We are a transient group. Snow Birds flock via sail, air, or land to La Cruz and surrounding areas (near Puerto Vallarta, Mexico) each winter. For years we met each Saturday in the air conditioned marina VIP room. 

Earlier this year we transitioned to monthly Zoom webinars. I host our Zoom gatherings from our sailboat, La Vita, moored in Marina La Cruz, Mexico.

Here’s my secret: I’m not a natural leader. Often I’m stressed to tears before our gatherings. Consumed with self doubt I always ask myself, “Will folks be able to join Zoom? Will our writers find value in our gathering? Have I done enough?
Rick, my husband reassures me. He holds my hand and reminds me to feel my breath as I inhale and exhale. He whispers, “You’ve done enough. It will be OK.”
I take a deep breath, dry my eyes, smile and open the Zoom Waiting Room. Sometimes, we talk about Unicorns and farts.

P.S. I’ll forever grateful if anyone can tell me how to:
     1. Create a One Click link to join Zoom
     2. Create a custom Zoom Invitation page